Nerdiness: A Contemplation

While I like to think of myself as being a pretty cool dude I am also very willing to admit that I can be a huge nerd.  I enjoy science fiction and fantasy novels, I think Star Wars kicks ass, I keep a goddamn blog; I’m being honest here, I can be a real geek when it comes down to it.  Oh well, if I gave that much a fuck I’d change my ways.  But that isn’t what I wanted to write about.  Earlier today (or it may have been yesterday?  insomnia is fucking with my ability to keep track of things) I got to thinking how while being a fan of scifi is pretty much gonna doom you as a nerd one way or another, there is a hierarchy of scifi nerdom that, if one is smart they can make themselves look respectively cooler than the lower rungs.  Who is at the bottem?  Star Trek fans, and I don’t mean a person who every now and then might watch a old rerun of Next Generation on the SciFi channel (something I’ve admittedly done myself), I’m talking the full blown Klingon speaking, convention going, let’s get dressed in dumbass costumes and wonder about the physics of the USS Enterprise’s warpcore Star Trek fans.  You people suck!  Do you hear me, I loathe your kind.  While Star Trek may provide passing entertianment (especially if you are a person who has been deviant enough to try smoking a certian hemp related plant) all around it is a shitty and dumb show, and it is just super geeky.  So fuck y’all.  I could care less if I piss you Star Trek nerds off, I hate you.  Klingon’s are not real and neither is that goddamn grunting and grumbling you claim is a legit language. . . Boy it just works me up.  Okay, anyway, next up on the wrung of scifi nerdom hierarchy would be Star Wars fans.  Now, like the Star Trek fans, any Star Wars fan who dressed up like a Storm Trooper or Darth Vader and stood for three days out of a theatre to see Episode III is just a dumbass and deserves a severe beating.  But it is okay in my opinion to have seen all the Star Wars movies and to enjoy them.  And while it is a big nerd thing to do it is okay as far as I see it to make the occasional Star Wars reference.  I mean throwing in a mention of a wookie in a conversation isn’t just good inuendo but honestly who doesn’t love themselves a bit-o’-Chewbacca?  Of course you risk further nerding yourself by reading Star Wars novels or comic books and having a collection of Star Wars action figures.  Fortunately with a little luck you can keep that mostly to yourself, and if your significant other does discover this secret it probably can’t be much worse than your mom walking into your room while you’re beatin’ the ol’ wookie, if you know what I mean (and I think that you do).  So yeah Star Wars is okay but still nerdy.  Now if you don’t mind being a nerd but want to show some sophistication then I suggest dropping the occsional “Dune” reference.  I’m not talking about the movies here, I’m spicifically saying that you must have read Frank Hurbert’s novels, most imortantly the first one.  The reason why I’d argue that “Dune” puts you up there in the scifi nerd hierarchy is because 1. it is a really good book that is actually worth reading and 2. being a book a lot of people may not actually catch a dropped mention about the Harkonnen but if anybody does it means that they have very likely read the book too and will appreciate the reference with perhaps a slight smile or nod.  “Dune” is the scifi route to nerdiness for an english major.  Of course the utter pretensiousness of thinking you’ve been witty by refering to some aspect of the novel “Dune” in a conversation is still quite nerdy, but hell, you’ll feel smart because you know that you can read (and to you Star Trek nerds I will say again that being able to read Klingon counts for shit you dumbasses).  Of course being a nerd is a lot more than liking various scifi, I mean being able to bring up a work of Soren Kierkegaard’s in a conversation about football might get you some serious scowls if not a good ass kickin’ but hey, be proud, existentialism never really hurt anybody (and I am laughing my ass of ass I write this — oh god, being such a nerd.  By the way thanks for emo kids existentialism, they really rock, and by rock I mean they are fuckin’ stupid stupid people).

A few weeks ago a few of us were watching TV and were searching the TiVo for something good to put on.  Somebody had saved Soylent Green and Mad and I suggested watching that.  One of our friends asked “What’s Soylent Green?”  Mad and I unfortuanetly failed to leap on this oppertunity effectively at the time.  But I swear to god if I ever hear anyone ask “What’s Soyent Green?” again I will run across the room screaming “It’s People!!!!  Soylent Green is People!!!”  God sometimes you just got to love nerdiness. 

~ by Nathaniel on October 11, 2007.

One Response to “Nerdiness: A Contemplation”

  1. Egads, I’m nerdier than I thought I was.. 😛 (in reference to Dune)

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