Pencil Question

Question:  Why the hell are #2 pencils usually that weird orangeish color?  I just don’t get it and it seems to me that there must be some reason better than some dude a long time ago being like “hey what a great color for pencils” and then everybody since has followed in tradition.  No, that would suck.  I am thinking that it probably has something to do with vampire hunting.  My theory holds that pencils were not originally made as writing utensils but instead were meant to be pocket sized stakes for your quick vampire killing convenience.  The orange paint actually just helped the stake glide into the vampire’s heart.  Over time there seemed to be fewer and fewer vampires and people were not quite as convinced that they needed to keep pocket sized stakes on their person.  Of course every once and awhile a vampire would show up and so people also didn’t want to just have no stakes.  Then in the 1870’s a witty dude named Leopold Schlimintz figured that by putting a core of graphite in the stake people could find double use for the pocket items as both a vampire stake and a writing utensil.  While it has long been forgotten the orange paint remains for that vampire staking ease.  Yeah, I’m betting that that is why pencils are colored orange.  As evidence to this I ask anouther question.  When have you ever seen a vampire use a pencil?  The answer is you haven’t, because vampires hate pencils, because pencils are actually stakes.  Vampires use quills and ink because they are classy chaps who know how to write with a quill.

~ by Nathaniel on December 6, 2007.

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