Things My Name Tag Can Do

The other morning I discovered that my work name tag can do more than identify me to others and open certain doors in the library (the name tag double as a pass key for access to staff areas).  I hadn’t been paying attention to how cold it was outside and when I went to get in my car I found the windows coated in frost.  Now coming, from New England, had I known it was that cold outside I would have started my car a few minutes early to let the windows defrost, but in my obliviousness I had failed to do so.  So I am sitting in my car with frosty windows, and of course I don’t have an ice scraper (I mean this is South Carolina, I didn’t expect that I’d need one) and then “click” goes the little light bulb.  I jump out of my car with name tag in hand and scrape away.  It worked like a charm.  My windows were cleaned and I was ready to go, so excited (but not really because I was going to work which kind of just sucked).

Next time on “Things My Name Tag Can Do”: I am captured by bandits who bound my hand with rope.  Too bad for them they didn’t think to take my name tag away.  Suckas! 

~ by Nathaniel on December 20, 2007.

One Response to “Things My Name Tag Can Do”

  1. It also works as a butter knife (for best results, rub it between your hands until it gets nice and warm), a frosting spreader when you have to bake a cake (say in an emergency outdoor survival situation and you don’t happen to have your bakeware set with you) and a signaling device if you get stranded in the Alaskan wilderness and need to catch the attention of rescue helicopters. I even hear tale of a guy who figured out how to “untop” champagne bottles with his name tag. Chuck Norris stops bullets with his.

    It’s probably also pretty good to cut heroin, but I’m just guessing there.

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