UFOs over Texas

Fourteen percent of Americans polled last year by The Associated Press and Ipsos say they have seen a UFO.

I am not included in that 14% but if I did see something that I might describe as a UFO I’d throw shit at it and be all like “Screw you you alien mother fuckers!  Go back to Betelgeuse!”  I assume that is the best way to deal with extraterrestrial invaders, which UFO flying aliens obviously are (why else would they bother coming here?).  But anyhow, good for you people in Texas, I haven’t heard about any good unexplained phenomena for quite some time.  No Bigfoot, no Mothman, no Satan in the cereal bowl.   And I live for this shit, I’ve got to hear it so that at the end of the day I can say, “Thank God I haven’t seen anything really wild and out there yet.  I assume that means I am still holding on to some degree of logic and sanity.”

~ by Nathaniel on January 15, 2008.

One Response to “UFOs over Texas”

  1. Your irrational aggression and divided opinion on “what is out there” is precisely why you don’t get to see them.

    They know your thoughts. They are telepathic. Get it?

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