SciFi Channel Films are ridiculous

Last night while flipping through the channels Mad and I briefly encountered the SciFi Channel’s latest film “Blood Monkey.”  This is just the most recent movie in a long list of ridiculously titled films that are shown on SciFi regularly.  Some of my favorite SciFi Pictures Original Films‘ titles are as follows.

Yep, SciFi definitely has access to some of the best worst movie writers in the world.  Considering what material I’ve watched on that channel I assume that once I get the script for “The Sloth” done I’ve got a shoe-in. 

~ by Nathaniel on January 28, 2008.

6 Responses to “SciFi Channel Films are ridiculous”

  1. I watched about 30 painful seconds of some horrible Sci-Fi Original bug movie Sunday afternoon that had some of the worst CGI effects known to man.

    Sci-Fi should embrace the kitch of their titles and make movies with purposely horrible special effects instead of trying really hard to create decent effects with inadequate budgets.

    New Rules of Sci-Fi original movie production design:

    1. Men in monster costumes are cooler than bad CGI monsters.
    2. Use technicolor blood (think Hammer films) and lots of it.
    3. go back to women screaming at the top of their lungs when the monsters appear.
    4. Monsters should be slow and limbering, not fast and swift.
    5. mechanical monsters are better than CGI monsters. The fact that they look mechanical is the whole damn point.
    6. make every movie a period piece. Victorian era, the future, the 50’s, etc.
    7. Lou Diamond Phillips may not apply for any role in a Sci-Fi original movie ever again.
    8. All dialogue should be deliberately campy.
    9. An orange yeti superhero series should be drafted pronto. The orange yeti should smoke way too much, have a drinking problem, and routinely get shot down by the ladies. He would however wear a cape and fight petty crime… like littering.
    10. Any further attempts to rob series like Flash Gordon of their soul, style and purpose should be punishable by suspension of all broadcasting privileges.

  2. Also all SciFi movies should be shot using low grade 8mm film and sound should be recorded over unwanted 1980s cassette tapes — that is how you put the real awesome horror quality into a movie

  3. “An orange yeti superhero series should be drafted pronto. The orange yeti should smoke way too much, have a drinking problem, and routinely get shot down by the ladies. He would however wear a cape and fight petty crime… like littering.”

    I think that super hero already exists, his name is Bear. All besides cape that is. But if I don’t get my hair cut soon, I’ll have a strong mullet cape.

  4. I believe the original cape probably evolved from ancient mullets. Some Greek dudes or something.

  5. The ability to grow a Mullet Cape should be a superpower.

  6. A mullet cape equals the Captain Caveman of Rednecks?

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