Gorgonzola in the Coffee?

My alarm goes off at 6am every weekday morning and then again at 7am.  Most days I get myself up with the first ringing, hop in the the shower, and then, after I am clean and awake, I read for awhile or do some shit on my computer before heading into work at about 8am.  The second alarm at 7am exists for those mornings when I just don’t wish to get going quite yet.  This morning was one of them.

I would describe my sleeping patterns as “unstable” at best.  I have never been much of a deep sleeper (I wake up a lot in the night) and, in fact, I think I probably have slight insomnia because very often I have a hard time sleeping at all.  When the 6 o’clock alarm went of this morning I hit the off button fully intending to stay in bed until 7, but I already knew that it wouldn’t be real sleep.  Actually I hadn’t been in real sleep since about 5am (when my internal clock usually wakes me up every day unless I have gotten to bed real late or was quite drunk the night before).  I kind of lie around in a dozing state, not quite asleep but not altogether conscious either.  I don’t think I am dreaming when I am like this but I also am aware that I am not thinking the most logical thoughts. 

For some reason in the hour between 6 and 7 this morning, as I lie curled deep beneath my blankets, I began to think of my daily cup of coffee.  Almost every morning on the way to work I drink a big cup of coffee, it has become quit the routine recently, and if I fail to partake in the practice I find that I greatly regret it for the rest of the day.  So coffee came into my mind and not having much else to think about in my current state I let the thoughts do as they please. 

First off was the wondering if Natalia and Walker were going to make themselves coffee this morning.  When they do brew a pot they are usually very generous and leave me enough to take to work in the morning.  I am very appreciative of this, partially because I am not all that convinced that I am good at brewing my own coffee, but more so because I am just lazy.  I try to contribute to the buying of coffee as a way to say thanks for making it for me in the morning.

The next thought that arose while I lay in bed was about the status of milk in the fridge.  I like a little milk or half-n-half in my coffee (not a lot, too much and the coffee is ruined) and I was aware that the milk had been running low.  I was pretty sure there was enough milk left for my cup (assuming first of all that coffee had been brewed) but then again maybe there wasn’t.  That would mean that I’d have to drink my coffee black (which isn’t the end of the world, I just don’t like it that much).  Then I remembered something, if there wasn’t any milk left in the fridge, I knew that there was still a pretty good chunk of Gorgonzola cheese, problem solved.

I think it was with this last thought that the logical part of my brain said something like, “Wait, what?  Okay you need to fucking wake up now!  Cheese in coffee?  Are you fucking high?!”  There is absolutely nothing logical about putting cheese in coffee in place of milk.  Sure cheese is dairy too, but god damnit it is a solid!  And Gorgonzola?  Have you ever had Gorgonzola?  Personally I find it delicious but I don’t think the funky pungency of the blue cheese would in anyway work with the bitter brew of coffee.  The thought was so absurd that it confused my stomach, who said, “Um, should I be nauseous?  Permission to initiate vomiting?”  Fortunately my logically thinking awake brain reacted quickly yelling, “Permission denied stomach! Abort vomit sequence! Repeat: Abort vomit sequence!”  It was a close save. 

Still . . . Gorgonzola?  Really?  I mean if I wanted to put some kind of dairy in my coffee in the absence of milk, wouldn’t I fair better with the yogurt in the refrigerator?  Or even better, the sour cream?  At least sour cream has the word cream involved.  No!  Ew all around!  If there wasn’t any milk I’d just take the coffee black, that was the only logical reasoning.  Creamer, or milk, or half-n-half are all okay to be put into coffee (I’ll even accept soy milk though I am not the biggest fan myself) but all other dairy should remain at a reasonable margin from coffee (except for maybe ice cream and whipped cream which I guess could maybe be lumped in the greater cream category).  Cheese especially has no place in coffee.  Yogurt is weird (but delicious) and I can’t image what would happen if somebody put a dollop of it in a hot mug-o-java (probably would just be really gross).

Fortunately for me, when I got downstairs and poured myself my coffee, there was just enough milk left for my mug.  Crisis averted all around (and yummy Gorgonzola left to be consumed in the proper manner).

~ by Nathaniel on February 1, 2008.

One Response to “Gorgonzola in the Coffee?”

  1. The sharper the cheese, the better it goes with coffee. I would start your experiments with a fromage de chevre (minus the crust).

    Maybe a little nutmeg too.

    Kind of like a Greek fondue coffee.

    You’re probably thinking “that sounds impossibly disgusting,” but… what if it actually worked? You could start a coffee revolution.

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