Sometimes it is all about the headline

Sometimes you get a headline like this

Hitler, Frankenstein battle for votes in India

which sounds way cooler than the story that follows.  I mean the story was kind of neat but it is no where near as cool as Hitler and Frankenstein (actual probably Frankenstein’s monster) battling for public office in the mountains of India.  I imagine that the plot would go something like this.

  • In the early/mid 1800s Dr. Frankenstein is searching for his monster in the mountains of India
  • Dr. Frankenstein finds that his monster has brought democracy to the indigenous people of the mountain region and they are preparing for their first public election with none other than the monster up to grab the seat
  • In 1945 Hitler has his scientists send him back in time before the Allies take Berlin
  • Somehow Hitler ends up in the mountains of India in the early/mid 1800s right around when the newly democratic natives are about to have their election
  • Sensing that with a successful win he could create a super army (India has a huge population) Hitler puts his name on the ballot.
  • Frankenstein’s monster realizes Hitler’s evil schemes and so goes fourth to do battle against him
  • Back in the future of 1945 British troops find the hidden Nazi time machine and go back to the early/mid 1800s in the mountains of India
  • All hell breaks loose
  • Frankenstein’s monster rips off Hitler’s arm and proceeds to beat the fascist dictator with his own limb
  • The Brits enjoy a nice warm lager
  • Dr. Frankenstein becomes enamored with the appearance of many armed Hindu deities and makes a new monster called Super Shiva
  • Random dancing scene
  • Hitler is defeated, Frankenstein’s monster is declared regional governor and the British soldiers claim India for the British Throne
  • Happiness ensues
  • The End

Granted this is a pretty rough plot at the moment but I feel like with some serious brainstorming sessions this could produce the big blockbuster of 2010 or 2011.  I mean honestly, who doesn’t want to see Hitler get beat with his own arm by Frankenstein’s Monster?

~ by Nathaniel on February 25, 2008.

2 Responses to “Sometimes it is all about the headline”

  1. We need funding. This rocks.

  2. What if Hitler wasn’t killed by his own hand (get it? GET IT?!)? Possible alternatives:

    * Hitler is killed by blunt force in a relatively unspectacular fight scene. But that death is preceded by a spectacular tongue lashing from the fuhrer toward the monster. And instead of having it spoken in German, it’s delivered in French and Mandarin Chinese. Afterward — obviously unscathed by the perplexing speech — Frankenstein’s monster takes Hitler’s lifeless corpse back to the lab where the good Dr. attaches several more arms to and the reanimated body becomes Kali (think: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). This brings about the end of the world. Cue the Brits dispassionately drinking lagers and random dancing sequence (dance scenes should be produced in Baliwood)

    * Nazi machine goes FORWARD in time and collides with Marty McFly and Bill & Ted. They all tag along back to India where the Wild Stallions save the day. Cue the random dance scene.

    * You more or less remake this movie with Erik Estrada. And Kathy Bates. And a cameo by Norman Schwartzkopf.

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