Glorious and Magnificent Zning Month/Week/Day to All!

To all, I wish to bestow my most heartfelt blessings of the season of Zning.  Were I able to stream audio over this blog (I am not able to) I would sing the wondrous Zning anthem (it follows the music from “Mad Max: Beyond Thunder Dome”).  Instead I will summarize the basic content of the lyrics here:

  • Go fourth cheery Zningers
  • Go fourth and spread your cheer
  • For today is happy Zning month
  • the first in four long years
  • Celebrate with joyous dancing
  • Celebrate by causing fear
  • We’ll all ransack the city
  • Once we’re fucked up by  all the Zning beer
  • but do not fret or worry
  • nay shed ye not a tear
  • for this is a time of happiness
  • for Zning month is finally here

Once the anthem is sung the dancing, and destruction, and drunken debauchery begins.  The Zning festival is meant to release all the pent up angst and desires that have accumulated in us all over the past four years.  Sure the celebration brings civilization dangerously close to utter destruction but then when the day is over we’ve got another four years to clean up the mess and get back to our wonderfully repressive lifestyles. 

In the spirit of celebration today I intend to ninja fight anybody who does not have an email address and doesn’t realize that they will probably need one to do most anything they want to do (look for jobs, get credit score, pay bills, etc,etc) online.  So when somebody says today, “Well I don’t have an email address.”  My response will be to twist my face into a look of utter rage and insanity and then I will scream “NinjaAttack!” and jump over the desk and begin to fight them with my fists and feet of fury.  It will be horrifying.  When I have defeated my opponent I will then rip off my shirt and scream to the heavens “happy fucking Zning day mother fuckers!”  Then I will go back to working behind my desk.

What a great holiday. 

~ by Nathaniel on February 29, 2008.

4 Responses to “Glorious and Magnificent Zning Month/Week/Day to All!”

  1. I like the ninja fighting idea. Today I’ve only gotten as far as commanding one of my co-workers to cartwheel down the hall. Alas, I was blatantly disobeyed.

  2. I was/ am a big supporter of Zning month. However, I just realized that if it was an actual month it would seriously suck bills wise that is. Imagine having to pay a mortgage bill for a one day month.

    No good.

  3. There are no bills in Zning month! Those who dare try to bill people during the month of Zning shall be shlacked with hot honey and covered in packing peanuts!

  4. […] it has been a long while since Zning Day last rolled around, but here it is again.  So go forth and burn up all the pent up angst and rage you have.  I wish […]

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