Super Powers

Do you (yes you) ever think about what kind of super powers you’d like to have if you could have any?  I do (and I mean I think about super powers beyond my Lord Hulk Rage and my obvious nearly divine awesomeness).  I think a lot of people cop out when they are asked to say what they would like for a super power.  They are all like, “Oh I’d like to fly or be invisible or breathe under water.”  Fuck people, any fucking super power in the world and the best you can do is say it’d be cool to fly?  Be creative for crying out loud.  Personally I used to think it would be really cool to have something like a sentient umbilical cord that could shoot lasers.  Or be able to, at will, summon thirteen ghost arms all with either different types of hands (like lobster claws and tiger paws) and/or different weapons (morning stars, samurai swords, tommy guns, big links of salami).  Yeah that one would be pretty cool.  Or to be able to pause time while you’re cooking or showering, or even sleeping, so that in the long run you have a whole 24 hours to spend everyday (but for some reason you can only use this to pause small arbitrary things — you can’t do it in a fight).  I believe Ian (the brother unit) once said that he’d like to be able to walk through walls because he is too lazy to open doors.  That is a decent super power (better than flying) but still not has cool as having six burning and screaming flying skulls orbiting your head and attacking your enemies.  Super powers would be awesome.  It would be so kick ass if on, say your fifteenth birthday, you got the one choice and that was the super power you had for the rest of your life.  I would take my awesome thirteen ghost arms and go beat up a bunch of people with flying super powers (but wouldn’t they just fly away?  Well probably but ghost arms can fly too — duh!). 


~ by Nathaniel on April 8, 2008.

2 Responses to “Super Powers”

  1. The power to kill a yak… from 200 yards away… With mind bullets. That’s telekinesis holmes.

  2. my goodness! One must never over look mind bullets or their superior Yak killing abilities.

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