Awesomeness Tsar

I hereby declare myself a professional Awesomeness Tsar and my first act with my newly self appointed title is to say that the spelling of Czar looks way fucking cooler than Tsar because who in crazy crazy though it was a good idea to put a C followed by a Z?  I do not know but I assume they were a kick ass person. 

So you may be wondering what has led me to the decision to call myself an Awesomeness Czar?  Well the points are many but I will try to illustrate them here simply:

  1. I’m General Fucking Lordisimo!  I mean holy cow isn’t it obvious by this point that I have a natural gift of determining all things awesome from all things not that awesome (aka shitty and dull)?
  2. I was born in 1984 a year in which Big Brother was ruling the entire world with propaganda and oppressive surveillance.  My birth single handedly brought Big Brother to an end and let the 80’s get all cool with things like Power Ties and Coke Parties.
  3. Shrimp is my favorite food.  The love of shrimp is a sure sign of utter awesomeness.  
  4. I once time traveled to the future and fought evil robots with my bare hands . . . and I won.

The list is actually endless but I hope this short sample is more than sufficient to convince you of the appropriateness of my new title.  If you have arguments then I will have to deem you unawesome and thus unworthy of any criticism of my self titling (it is a wonderful cyclical standard that assures that my title cannot be removed).

Also, supposedly I am addicted to dill (like the herb that is used to make dill pickles).  This is a strange thing to learn seeing as I was unaware of the fact prior to last night’s dinner at Paivi’s.  Perhaps my addiction is so severe that I am completely oblivious as to how it is affecting my life, my friends, and my family.  Whatever, I’m still an Awesomeness Czar!

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~ by Nathaniel on April 28, 2008.

5 Responses to “Awesomeness Tsar”

  1. Don’t forget to mention your past work in the field. Such as, your list https://generallordisimo.wordpress.com/things-that-are-awesome/

  2. Oh yeah, this is true . . . Also the fact that I wear cowboy boots and one time dressed up like a pirate just for shits and giggles.

  3. I’m not sure if the pirate thing helps your campaign.

  4. Pirating is nothing if not awesome (and possibly highly illegal)

  5. […] Finally finished A Historyof the World in 6 Glasses. Recommend and provided by Meg, the book is a quick and interesting read on how beer, wine, spirits, coffee, tea, and Coca-Cola each defined an era and moved civilization forward in some way, shape or form. I can’t say every word was wonderful or every fact interesting but in general it was worth the read. It was nice to get a little history and social significance to some of my favorite drinks. The copy I read is being passed off to Lord and I’m interested to hear if he thinks it awesome or not. […]

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