Apocalypse Consulting

Months back now, a group of us (which I believe included Bear, Evan, Meg, and Myself) went to Furman University to visit the Cliffs Cottage.  Upon entering the universities back entrance I made the observation that the gate would not serve as adequate defense against a horde of zombies, as the undead could quite easily navigate their decaying selves around it.  It was at that moment that I realized I could have a higher calling in offering my service as an Apocalypse Consultant.  For a fee companies or individuals can hire me to offer them advice/consultation on how to survive whatever apocalyptic scenerio most concerns them.  I feel that this is a realm that I am exceptionally qualified in.

That being said, I discovered the Geek Survival Guide blog/podcasttoday. It is both wonderfully dorky and creative and fits right in with my aim of Apocalypse Consulting.  I suggest checking it out for any of your truly dorky concerns of which you lack personal faith in your ability to handle.

As a freebie I will offer this piece of advise on the apocalypse, and this is one that I believe is valuable to just about any scenario of Armageddon imaginable.  Remember this; Big-Box Stores.  Personally I think that the reason why Big-Box Stores have become so pervasive in the US is that they have been made to provide resource in the event of a major apocalyptic happening.  Seriously, these places, especially big ones like Costco of Sam’s Club, are just perfect supply depots in case of a catastrophic event of any nature.  Now naturally their will be the survivor competition factor (as in how many survivors are there and how willing are they to working together and/or sharing?) but even so Big-Box Stores are the places to stock up and, in the case of monsters like zombies, also worthy as defense holds.  There you go.  Any other advice will cost ya.

~ by Nathaniel on February 6, 2009.

One Response to “Apocalypse Consulting”

  1. Nathaniel, thanks for the recommendation, and the link. Of course, the big box store is a good place to hole up if you find yourself caught flat-footed by the imminent invasion of zombies, headcrabs, mimes, what have you. But the wise geek gets his bunker (and his Twinkies) in order before the mega-painful doom descends.
    So I applaud your decision to pursue Apocalypse Consulting, which I think will be a real growth industry once a monster comes out of the ocean and stomps Tokyo flat. They’ll never see that one coming, but afterward everyone will be saying “Well, of COURSE a giant monster came out and stomped Tokyo… That’s What They Do!”
    Thanks again,

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