Apocalypse Consulting

Months back now, a group of us (which I believe included Bear, Evan, Meg, and Myself) went to Furman University to visit the Cliffs Cottage.  Upon entering the universities back entrance I made the observation that the gate would not serve as adequate defense against a horde of zombies, as the undead could quite easily navigate their decaying selves around it.  It was at that moment that I realized I could have a higher calling in offering my service as an Apocalypse Consultant.  For a fee companies or individuals can hire me to offer them advice/consultation on how to survive whatever apocalyptic scenerio most concerns them.  I feel that this is a realm that I am exceptionally qualified in.

That being said, I discovered the Geek Survival Guide blog/podcasttoday. It is both wonderfully dorky and creative and fits right in with my aim of Apocalypse Consulting.  I suggest checking it out for any of your truly dorky concerns of which you lack personal faith in your ability to handle.

As a freebie I will offer this piece of advise on the apocalypse, and this is one that I believe is valuable to just about any scenario of Armageddon imaginable.  Remember this; Big-Box Stores.  Personally I think that the reason why Big-Box Stores have become so pervasive in the US is that they have been made to provide resource in the event of a major apocalyptic happening.  Seriously, these places, especially big ones like Costco of Sam’s Club, are just perfect supply depots in case of a catastrophic event of any nature.  Now naturally their will be the survivor competition factor (as in how many survivors are there and how willing are they to working together and/or sharing?) but even so Big-Box Stores are the places to stock up and, in the case of monsters like zombies, also worthy as defense holds.  There you go.  Any other advice will cost ya.

Advertisements

~ by Nathaniel on February 6, 2009.

One Response to “Apocalypse Consulting”

  1. Nathaniel, thanks for the recommendation, and the link. Of course, the big box store is a good place to hole up if you find yourself caught flat-footed by the imminent invasion of zombies, headcrabs, mimes, what have you. But the wise geek gets his bunker (and his Twinkies) in order before the mega-painful doom descends.
    So I applaud your decision to pursue Apocalypse Consulting, which I think will be a real growth industry once a monster comes out of the ocean and stomps Tokyo flat. They’ll never see that one coming, but afterward everyone will be saying “Well, of COURSE a giant monster came out and stomped Tokyo… That’s What They Do!”
    Thanks again,
    Zach

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: