The Twirling Dance of Chaos and Order

Do any of you ever feel like you are just being jerked around through the tempestuous reality that we call life?  That for better or worse you will end up where you will end up regardless of any sound decision that you can or cannot make?  I’m sure you do, in fact I am pretty certain that this encompasses much of life in general.

That last couple of weeks have felt that way to me, and it is crazy, and I’m loosing sleep and money and slight bits of sanity with each moment.

I suppose it begs the philosophical questions of fate and free will, but I believe (and long have) that trying to scrutinize these points is not really worth the effort because there is no way to prove or disprove that we exist in a determined/non-determined universe.  Still I sit back and feel like I am on a ride and my contribution only matters to a limited degree as the future unfolds in front of us.

I’ve been in one of those major “everything is fucking absurd” moods about the whole thing.  Not depression, not contentment, just the absolute insanity which seems to be a part of Being.

*huge sigh*

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~ by Nathaniel on July 14, 2009.

2 Responses to “The Twirling Dance of Chaos and Order”

  1. Take drugs…they help…I too have felt this way

    • I do have a few prescriptions drugs I’m on right now . . . in the very least they help me sleep . . . or something

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