Yo USA! What’s the Deal With Winning Nobel Prizes for Literature

Okay, so those of you who might be paying attention to things, are probably aware that the whole Nobel Prize thing is going on right now and smart folks are getting some nice recognition and not too shabby a load of cash to boot.  As such BBC News offers a cool look at some facts about Nobel Prize winnings.  All around the United States looks pretty spiffy, with the most prizes won, and dominating every field . . . except literature, where we come in third . . . after England . . . And France!

Alright, allow me to ask an honest and heart-felt what the fuck?  How is it that we can dominate science, economics and even peace (admittedly I have some questions about the peace one, but that is for another post) and yet we are beat out by the Brits and the French in literature? Dear American authors, let’s get it in gear okay?  I am charging you with winning us at least seven Noble Prizes for Literature over the next decade, anything less will make me feel very concerned for the state of the American written word.

Now, while I am filled with many a grand idea, I cannot tell you want you need to write to secure a good old Nobel Prize in Literature win.  However, I can offer you some titles for your works that certainly ought to put you in the running.  Consider this an open invitation to use these titles and fill them out with any well written content you can come up with.

  • The Season of the Round House Kick: Summer of a Hundred Broken Faces
  • A Brief Extrapolation About Yogurt and Yak Riding
  • My Name is William.  I Live in York
  • Robo Robo Yam Disco
  • Knuckle of Night, Ankle of Spain
  • Madam Rumpfell’s Delicious Biscuits (note: this one should be saucy . . . but not like tartar saucy . . . just slightly kinky saucy)
  • Flexibility for All!
  • Arctic Whisper: A Memoir of Fifteen Years Living in a Meat-locker

I’ll probably come up with some more gems later, so don’t worry if these few starters don’t quick kick-start your genius engines (though seriously, how can you go wrong with “Robo Robo Yam Disco”?).

~ by Nathaniel on October 8, 2010.

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