The Noisy Sun Chips Bags
Okay, this has been irking me. You know those noisy bags that Sun Chips have been packaged in over the past year or so? Well, Frito-Lay, the manufacturer of Sun Chips, is scrapping them in must of the Sun Chip products (besides the Original flavor) because consumers complained so much about the noise. This pisses me off. Please allow me to explain.
Yes, the bags are wretchedly noisy and can quickly get annoying . . . if you sit around ceaselessly crinkling them. But, they are 100% compostable, which is, in contrast to normal chip bags, 100% more biodegradable (ed. note: this might not be 100% accurate, as I do not know the standard biodegradability of normal chip packaging. However, I am guessing it is not too great). So this arguably environmentally beneficial packaging is being nixed because people can’t deal with the little bit of noise.
This is moronic. There are alternative that can be achieved to avoid the noise of the bags and yet keep the biodegradable packaging material. It is called “putting the God damned chips in a fucking bowl!” Seriously, this really disappoints me. This is a failure of utilitarianism. Biodegradable packaging for mass consumed products is very easily a move for the greater good, and yet it is not being achieved because noisy bags annoy people. Like I said above, yes the bag are noisy, but really, unless you are sitting there ceaselessly crinkling and crunching the bag, this is not so horrible as to justify stopping using the bags altogether. Personally I think this is just a demonstration of how consumers can be moronic and make big deals out of things that are really not all that bad.
I am glad that Sun Chips is at least keeping the bag on the Original flavor and also that they are working on developing alternative compostable bags. But in the meantime, I really feel like it is consumers who should suck it up and deal with the little bit of noise for the greater benefit provided by more environmentally friendly packaging.
But that isn’t the case . . . so it goes.
General Lordisimo's Apocalypse 
I was thinking of writing Frito-Lay about bringing the noisy bags back because I enjoyed annoying people by crinkling the bag. You know how you can slide a straw up and down in the lid of a drink lid and make an annoying noise? Well I love that too.
The fact that the bag was biodegradable did not mean as much to me as the fact I could use it to annoy someone. It was a plus, but not the #1 reason why I liked those bags. I probably enjoyed the bag more than chips, and Sunchips are pretty good chips IMHO.
I am not immune from certain noises bothering me. For some reason when people are filing their fingernails, that noise drives me nuts. Fingernails on the chalkboard does nothing for me though.
A friend of mine was theorizing how to utilize the bag as some sort of alternative instrument. I also see just sitting next to somebody on a bus and leaning in close and slowly crinkling away on one of these bags . . . Super awkward? Why yes. Totally worth it? Most definitely!
And yes, noises with fingernails = super horrible. Also, the material that a lot of winter jackets are made of, they make a terirble swishing noise . . . but they are also not biodegradable as far as I know.
Ah you reminded me of corduroy pants that I was subjected to wearing as a child. No wonder I turned out this way….